Mr. Happy was a piece of shit that was making Geoff Gaylord’s life pure Hell. Hap, as he was affectionately known, was a drug addicted, slovenly lush that left his dolls all over the place. Hap had driven Gaylord’s car recklessly and left him to take the rap. When Gaylord came home and found Hap’s empty cocaine baggies and vodka bottles all over the place, it was the last straw. A man can only take so much. According to Inquisitr, Gaylord said:
“His room was a mess all the time with his toys and dolls. He left his empty vodka bottles all over the kitchen… never picked up his empty cocaine baggies. He messed up my apartment to the point where I just couldn’t get it clean. Before Hap started doing drugs and acting weird he was my BFF (best friend forever)… we’d go dancing, play on the children’s park equipment, both huge fans of doom metal – listened to it for hours with the lights turned off.”
“That drunk driving incident I got unfairly blamed for and just how messy he had become put me over the edge and I murdered him. I did the unthinkable and killed my best friend. I’m a terrible, terrible person and I need to be punished.”
These were the words that Gaylord used as he turned himself in to Jacksonville authorities for bludgeoning Mr. Happy with a knife, cutting him up and burying him in his backyard. It would be an open and shut case…if Mr. Happy was fucking real. Mr. Happy was Gaylord’s imaginary friend. Apparently, he was drunk off his ass when he somberly came into the sheriff’s office to divulge that he had brutally murdered his best friend of seven years.
Gaylord demanded that the police officers execute him for offing his imaginary friend in such a heinous manner. Of course, police refused. Gaylord grew perturbed with their refusal to punish them and flew off the handle a little bit. He was then taken into custody and his home was searched. Police found drug paraphernalia and a machine gun. He caught many charges. RIP Mr. Happy.