As a woman, if you’ve never had the need to fake an orgasm – you are truly blessed. As a man, if you’ve never had a woman need to fake an orgasm – you will truly never know. Or so you think, right? Many men are certain that they’d know if their partner was faking “it,” but what is that based on? The way her leg quivers? How loud she yells? Yeah – okay. Let’s take a look at some of the telltale signs if your lady is saying you’re great in bed, or she’s just a great actress…
It has been estimated by various studies that 70% of women fake orgasms at some point in their sexual lives. Some fake it very regularly — as in every time — while others only do it sometimes.
The psychology behind faking it is simple: She isn’t going to have an orgasm this time, and she knows it. She can’t be bothered with a) you trying hard to satisfy her and prolonging the encounter, and b) you feeling bad because you couldn’t satisfy her come hell or high water.
If you want to know if you are being duped, use the following signs that she really is having an orgasm to distinguish the faux from the bona fide, and catch her in the act.
Retraction of the clitoral head
This occurs just before orgasm and provides you with a clitoris-sized hint. When the clit disappears, you’re on the right track, so don’t stop. This coveted disappearance of the clitoris isn’t only visible if you have the lights on and your face all up in it; it’s something you can feel as well. So, get yourselves into a positionwhere you can easily rub her clitoris during sex, and use it to your advantage. Under the guise of giving her some extra special treatment, you can feel whether she’s actually close to climaxing or just faking.
Increased breathing and heart rate
Listen to the sound of her breathing in your ear: When it starts to get heavier, you’ll know you’re onto something. The change will occur reasonably swiftly when she is about to orgasm, and will be accompanied by a completely unconscious change in the tension, rhythm and pace of her other body movements. Liars and the truthful alike might clutch at you and moan and groan, but her breathing is the missing link. Her thumping heart will also be a sign that it’s for real; if she isn’t actually excited, her heart rate and bodily manner will be very ordinary.
Dilated pupils are another surefire sign that your girl is reaching her peak. This might be hard to tell in the dark, but if the lights are on, all you have to do is ask her to look into your eyes as she climaxes. Chances are she’ll be more than willing to oblige to that romantic request. Just make sure to make note of what her pupils looked like at the beginning of your romp so you can compare their difference in size at the end.
This means both sets: Her mouth lips will go a little redder (lips swell and redden upon arousal), as will her vaginal lips. While you are penetrating one set of lips, try to feel the swelling in the other set of lips that you’re kissing. Be careful though: Kissing will also increase the redness of her lips, so be gentle with pecks so that you can get an accurate reading of her response level.
Vaginal muscle spasms
Muscle spasms are the biggest indicators of all because she cannot fake or hide this. During orgasm, she will have between 3 and 10 vaginal and cervical contractions, the first few being the strongest. They will grip your penis, and the tightening feeling you experience will be impossible to ignore.
Hot, sweaty sex? Yes, please. Breaking out in a sweat means her body is at a high level of tension and her muscles are working overtime — her breathing, heart rate and blood pressure are all up. So, once you both collapse into a sweaty heap afterward, you’ll know she’s been pleased.
A good conversation may be the best remedy if you suspect your mate of faking orgasms. Finding out what pleases her and exploring options for stimulation can solve this problem and create an exciting experience.
Kimani Fisher is a sexual health and relationship enthusiast.
Please visit her site vforvadge.com where she discusses all things Vagina!