Not sure if you are in a Relationship or Situationship? Here’s a hint:
If you ever asked him, “What are we doing? Where is this going? Who am I to you?” Chances are, you are in a situationship, not a relationship. The simple differences between a Situationship and REALationship are Consistency and executed plans to move forward with the person you are with. If you aren’t receiving this and you remain constantly unsure of where you stand… then there is your answer. REALationships leave no room for doubt.
We all wind up in this situation once or twice in life. Peep the scenario, he’s not your man, but you know that he’s more to you than just some dude that you’re seeing. You love this man, you do all the things that couples do. You fight and fuck like man and wife. You’ve been seeing this cat for some time, years even, it’s more than sex, you spend nights at his house, he spends nights at yours, you go out on dates, vacations, spend holidays or half of the holidays, because most of the time this man is dating other women so he doesn’t want to single any one out by spending the holidays with them, but you are his number one draft pick, those other chicks are on the bench. You do every little thing that people in relationships do, but you fall short of being in a REALationship.
Why? Perhaps he can’t take you seriously because of he is basing your status on how the two of you met? How fast you gave it up? Your reputation? Where you are in life? Or, he can’t be in a relationship with you because he may have a girl but he’s drawn to you or even more serious, he might even be married.
Woah… now…. let us tread lightly before we call her, dumb, naive, side bitch, home wrecker for being in a Situationship with an involved man. There are times when “the wife/main” is the “dumb one, naive, side bitch”…. OR it can be safe to say that the wife, and the “other woman,” has found themselves in a “Situationship.” This is all based on “The man” in the middle and what it is he’s doing, and most of all what he wants and WHO he wants it from. Besides, what’s a title if there are no words to the story? Or no developing characters? Or no sequel in place? Your his wife but where is this story leading up to? Some characters get killed off so the story can go on you know.. Just saying.
What’s a Situationship?
A Situationship is pretty much a relationship that is either failing but the two of your are bonded by children, marriage, good sex missing bodies OR a relationship that you are in with someone that was never consummated, but you can’t let go and there is no fucking ending in sight. Why? Because there is so much sex, pain, love, lust, emotions, just a cluster fuck of everything involved, it leaves you confused and addicted. You might even be in a for real relationship but things get so fucked up along the way now you find yourself in this Situation… ship.
Then there are those, “Who am I to you, where is this going?” Situations. Having to ask that question alone should let you know that you are not in a relationship. I know it feels like more, I know he says its more, I know you do things that a girlfriend or wife should do so you feel like its more, you feel like you deserve more and that he should be giving you more. I know he fucks you like he loves you but you are not in a relationship.
But I’m here to tell you this:
Your best bet is to find the nearest treatment center, check yourself into rehab and get your effing life! Stringer Bell is just stringing you along. Yes, I know, “not him, what? but we been dealing for so long? thats my boo! he knows my family! Oh my God what? You just jealous, he ain’t with her like that! All of the things you tell yourself to convince yourself that what you have with this man is more than what people see. I’m here to tell you that the jig is up, yes bitch, the jig is up. He’s just stringing you along, playing on your emotions so you can have all that deep, passionate, painful, make-up sex and so that he can reap the benefits of having the cow without paying for the milk. It sucks. I know, but the shit is real. why? Because the motherfucking overseer of the whole shit (the man) is pulling the strings. Stringer Bell knows what to say or do to get you to have a seat, and when we realize that we are in too damn deep to get out, we stay, we wait, we try, we cry we do every damn thing we must, in order to turn this situationship into a relationship. It’s Pimp or Die now ladies.
These situationships are pretty much roundtable discussion topics for him and his friends, and the result is a woman feeling low because as women we are not equipped to just fuck and give ourselves to a man for a duration of time without emotion no matter how “hardcore” we are, no matter what we been through, even the Hoest of hoes get caught up, we eventually want more. When we give so much to a man and we realize that all we are in is a “situationship” and not the relationship we THOUGHT we were in, its a blow to the ego and a knife to the heart. It’s damaging to us emotionally and it can ruina bitch, next thing you know we out here in unmarked cars throwing shit at your window, slashing tires, Facebooking your bitch telling her everything, poking holes in condoms and stashing the birth control pills. We begin to do all kinds of desperate things to keep this man that we are so emotionally dependent upon and why the fuck not?!??! We deserve our reparations!
But as right as we will be, to commit such acts, do not partake in such dumb bitch activities, because all the man is going to do is turn the shit around on you, and have you labeled as “that crazy bitch.” So naw sista you don’t do that! I know its in your heart and mind to do so. I know girl, you’ll be right at his door, in a hoodie and sweats, waiting for him to come out so you can mace him in the face but no, your best bet is to cut all ties. Ween off the Peen chile. WEEN! Back away from the dick, back away from what you thought it was.
DON’T get it fucked up though. Situationships are REAL RELATIONSHIPS. Most situationships are deeper than relationships. But they’re just so tainted and fucked up because they’re built on LUST that they eventually fail. So if you want more out of a man be cautious of how much you give and be mindful of what you accept. You will forever be his “go to” girl if you do the most for less. Close your legs and heart to this man, his intentions may be good, but after a certain amount of time, if he hasn’t made that move to upgrade you? He never will. But all hope isn’t lost, you can upgrade yourself.
Don’t Be A Dumb Bitch.. BE GREAT!
Deputy Editor of Don Diva Magazine/Author