Are you “up there” in age? Still single but actively looking? Are your standards unrealistic, unreachable, just plain damn stupid and getting in the way of you being happy? Does your attitude suck and you don’t know it? What is getting in the way of you getting a man ladies? Are you being real with yourself? Is it really the fact that men aint shit? Or is it you? You may be suffering from “Chillitis” (pronounced Chilli-it is). Some of you ladies are “Chilli’n” yes “Chilli’n” (pronounced Chilli-yin) You know Chilli from TLC and her long list of fuckery that she needs in order to date or claim someone as her man. Now don’t get me wrong, we all should have standards.
There are certain things as grown women that we should not ever compromise or turn the other cheek for, no matter what! A man should have his own place, be gainfully employed, believe in a higher power, be respectful, be well dressed, a gentleman, have nice teeth, good conversation, own a good shoe or two, own a suit, love his mama, respect women, you know for starters, that’s basic shit. And okay, if you don’t like a smoker, it’s definitely okay to not deal with a man that smokes. But when your list includes shit like, gotta be 6ft ¾ , shoulders gotta be 18 inches wide and not an inch shorter, eyes hazel, gotta make over 9,000 a week, must work out 40 times a day, only allowed to have 1 kid and the baby mother better be dead, has to chew his food 6 times before he swallows, must love blinking twice before each sentence, you are Chilli’n!!!!!
A lot of women are just too picky to the point of exhaustion and though you should not settle lets be real here, the reason you can’t find a man might not be because you haven’t found someone to live up to your standards. Perhaps the men that come across you don’t want to be bothered with you and all of your rules! How can “he” be comfortable with a woman who is so anal and intricate when it comes to her likes and wants? The kicker is some of these women with all of these standards doesn’t even have her own shit together! She wants a man to have all of these qualities so that SHE can benefit from it!
You put all of these rules and guidelines before your happiness and before you know it, your up there in age, not as quick or as attractive as you use to be, your pussy expiration date is forthcoming and your milk is about to spoil. Yet you wasted all of this time, alone, because of that check list that you just can’t seem to live without. Girl bye.
Even worse are these grown women in their second childhood looking for dope boys to finance their old ass lifestyles, the adult woman hanging around studios trying to date these rappers or the old bitch that doesn’t know she’s (too) old to be in the streets leaving her 16 year old at home to watch her 2 year old. You know, stupid shit. You won’t attract a King if your moves are bird like. And what about the women with bad attitudes? Your not sure if your attitude sucks? Okay, take the last relationship you had, multiply that by 3, carry the one and divide it by your single ass for the past 5 years and there you have it! It’s probably your attitude as to why you can’t find a man and not these standards that you have set in place.
You have to loosen up ladies and understand that you’re not going to get the package deal, your NOT! But when you get the man, he may be willing to conform to your specific needs if it’s nothing too drastic. You see Chilli ass is still trying to find Mr. Right. What if Mr. Right doesn’t like baby hair? Would that be fair to her knowing she has all these good qualities but the man doesn’t like women with baby hair? No shade, I’m just saying ladies. Never settle, but stop being so particular when searching for Mr. Right cause your ass aint perfect either!
It’s not easy for single women looking for a mate, it is indeed rough. There is so much to consider, a lot of men aren’t who they say they are, we have to be careful who we bring home, especially when we have children, the bar has to be raised (for those of us that give a shit about our children and what they think of us) But chill out a little bit, loosen those panties, get to know that brother you would never even dream of being with, stop and say hi to that man that is shorter than what your attracted to, smile at the brother who doesn’t look like he makes a million bucks because he just might be the one to make you feel like a million bucks you feel me? Look beyond those standards of yours sometimes and you just might find what you’ve been looking for!
For Books By Ayana Ellis visit Amazon.com