There are some women who spend a life time trying to figure out what they can do to keep the man they love in their lives forever. Some of you go to the extreme, you fake pregnancies, you attempt suicide, you throw tantrums, diagnose yourself with incurable diseases that you know this ni**a can’t find on Google, talking about it’s some rare shit that your great grandmothers, sisters’ brother on her uncles side had. Some of you even resort to that goonie goo-goo shit, dancing around headless chickens in the rain, putting blood in his spaghetti, putting his pubic hairs in a pot and sautéing it in olive oil, chantin Missy Elliott’s Pussy Don’t Fail Me Now 3 times while rubbing Noxema on your face.
But I’m here to tell you, none of that shit will work if the man is:
1) Not into you and 2) not ready. Timing is everything when it comes to these men. If he isn’t ready there is NOTHING you can do to make him want you. Hell, if he doesn’t want you, there is nothing you can do to change his mind, even if the time is right! You can save his mother from drowning and all he’s going to do is give you daps and be like “good lookin on that saving my mom’s shit,” and that’s that! Which is why it’s not necessary to “do the most” to keep a ni**a or get him for that matter, simply be you and hopefully YOU are enough…
Now they say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach….eh….that plays a part. But I don’t give a shit if you went to Big Mama’s School of Banging Pots and Licking Fingers, if that’s all you have to offer, then that’s all he will use you for. Bet you’ll see his ass every Sunday for a good meal and that’s about it. And then you got those females who use the power of the P to try and keep a man. Now I know we all like to think that our pussy is better than every bitch in the world. Nobody’s box is wetter, tighter, cleaner, gooshier than yours, I get it. But you’re going to need more than a crotchless body stocking and a wet mouth whenever he comes over if you’re trying to earn a spot in his life forever and not just for a night. Let me let you in on a little secret about men. Men love to have a woman that they can brag about. Real men like a woman with drive, a go-getter, a down ass woman, a woman that’s not just there when things are good but has the drive, strength and tenacity to be there through tough times as well. Sure, you can suck a good dick but hey bitch, don’t just give head…. Use your head! You pretty much have to be an all-around balanced woman to capture any man who is worth it, I mean after all, isn’t that the kind of man you would like to have for yourself? An all around well balanced man? I mean don’t let what he brings to the table be the only shit you got to eat, you know what I’m talking about? Which brings me to this:
A lot of you bitches want the perfect man and your shit is half ass. You want Mr. Right to come to you RIGHT, no flaws, no work needing to be done,money right, mind right, no bullshit but what the hell are you bringing to the table aside from your “fat ass,” which can be bought so now every female is walking around with a fatty. So what else you got? Also, you broads have no idea what being submissive means with your ignorant asses. Immediately when you hear the word submissive you think about a weak stupid woman that listens to everything her man says. And that’s why you don’t have a man now or can’t keep one because you’re too independent and stuck on that dumb shit. The submissive woman is actually a strong smart woman. She’s strong enough to handle submission and she’s smart enough to know why she should be submissive and WHO to be submissive to. She knows exactly what to do to not only keep her man but keep him happy. Everything is about balance ladies. You gotta have a lil’ bit of everything going on. Nobody says you have to be this perfect patty for him, but don’t be so independent and hard core that you can’t be soft for him. A hard chick makes a soft dick, remember that!
Enjoy making him happy, that’s the way to his heart! Don’t do it because you feel you have to do it. Do it because you enjoy it and you think he deserves it. And if you’re with a nigga that doesn’t deserve it, then why are you with him? Don’t be a dumb bitch and waste time, break out! It’s like sucking dick… a man knows when you really don’t like doing it, but you’re doing it to please him and that’s no satisfaction on his part! He’s just watching you as you hold the dick all wrong and awkward, only putting some of it in your mouth, you can’t juggle both balls in your mouth, no spit, no gagging, no eyes tearing, no snot running down your nose, nothing! He’s not stupid, he knows you’re not enjoying it. You can’t do it for him, whatever it is, it has to be genuine!
A submissive woman knows how to cater to her man without losing herself in the midst of it all. Even though this woman works a 9-5, has a millions hustles on the side, children to take care of, a sick mother at home and is going to college full time, she knows that her man has nothing to do with any of that, he is a separate job all together. Although this woman can take care of herself, she knows the importance of allowing her man to feel as if he is needed!!!! You have to make your man feel like a man, make him feel as if he is taking care of you. Make sure your man feels like he is King Joffy Joffa out this bitch!! Ni**as love that King treatment shit! You have to let the man run the show. We know you got this and you don’t need no ni**a, but shut the fuck up and act like you do! Let the man lead, providing that he’s not some lame ass that’s gonna lead you into poverty, heartache and despair, let that man lead as you sit back, handle your business and powder your nose, period. Men love for a woman to be about her business but still make time to take care of the home. The submissive woman knows that it is frowned upon to be too tired to fuck, so she gets in the mood anyway to cater to her mans’ needs. She knows she can cuss this ni**a out in several different languages but instead she deads the argument by allowing him to have the last word and rubbing his balls to calm him down. It doesn’t matter that she slaved over that stove for hours preparing his meal, she knows to bring him his plate, with a napkin, a salad fork, regular fork, butter knife, cutting knife, juice, water, soda, henny, all that shit laid out for him to choose from. King shit, IF he deserves it. It’s only a certain breed a man that deserves red carpet treatment. A lot of you bitches out there treating these lames like Kings and can’t even get your hair done from these ni**as. *file under: don’t be a dumb bitch*
But aside from keeping the man you first have to get him, right? There is but so much a woman can do to “make” a man want her. If a man sees you in his future he will open up his heart and let you in. Period. He has to want you on his own. He has to feel it in his heart that you are the kind of woman that will be there with him and for him through thick and thin. A man has to know that he can trust you, not on some shit about you fucking other men, that’s minor in comparison to his real trust issues. He has to know he can trust you with confidential information, his emotions, his deepest thoughts, his plans and his life. He has to look at you in a way that he looks at no other woman. He has to know that you will represent him to the fullest whether he is around or not. Whatever it is that he desires in a mate, you must have those attributes. It doesn’t make you unworthy that he doesn’t want you, no matter how good of a woman you are, but you have to have the particulars for that particular man.
He has to feel that you are loyal and faithful to his heart. And the shit with that is, if you’re not a faithful loyal type of bitch, no man will ever see that in you and you will get treated accordingly. But for my down ass good hearted women, be cool babies. It takes patience, before you earn your man you have to learn him. These ni**as just act difficult because they like to put us through dumb ass tests and what not. But men are babies on the low, they are needier than women and low key more emotional and are very easy to please. Just get to know this man like the back of your hand by genuinely being interesting in him and it won’t be hard. Fake bitches get fake results, remember that! Figure out what makes him happy, what makes him smile, what makes him horny, what makes him mad, sad, annoyed, what turns him off, what turns him on and act accordingly. Basically, don’t be basic, lazy, selfish ass bitch. Be a woman that is hard to replace!!!! You gotta get in this ni**as head without him even knowing. Play Chess while these other bitches are playing checkers with their pussy and pulling out grandmas secret recipe, thinking this is the way to a man’s heart. Because on some real shit, if you are the one he wants, he could give a damn about you not knowing how to cook, he’ll just be like, I love my baby with her non-cooking ass. And that’s that.
In conclusion, cooking, cleaning, freaking, sucking, yeah, yeah, all that shit is what it is. These are things that make a man happy…temporarily, but it won’t keep a man happy. When you want “him” to take you seriously and love and respect you, Give him your patience not your pussy. The real way to a man’s heart is through your own, he has to feel how genuine you are. Show him how to love and he will always love you and take care of you. Fellas the same rules apply. You want a woman to be loyal and faithful to you then you have to make her feel and know that she is safe and protected at all times because bitches love protection and security.
Deputy Editor of Don Diva Magazine, Author