You know the saying out with the old and in with the new! So with all that being said and done. Lets talk about the things we don’t want to see entering 2014.
1. Those effing root realness lace fronts follow us wherever we go don’t they? Okay we have evolved from the planet of the apes hair line. But c’mon now, we don’t want to see those stiff ass Jane Jetson, Daisy from Dukes of Hazzard wigs in 2014 G.H.E.T.T.O.U.T!!!!!
2. Duck lip selfies… ugh.
3. Pictures of a faceless “Bae”…GIRL!!!!!!!!!! In 2014 if we can’t see his face in the pic? He is not your bae! You need more people!
4. Dudes posing with liquor bottles and money. That shit is soooooooooooooo corny B.
5. Those “Bitches Be Like” Memes. It was funny at first but you negroes run shit into the ground. No more!
6. Black Men getting their dicks hard by slandering black women. Like dude, your mother is black, you got 3 half siblings, which means your mother fucked 3 dudes raw not to mention the 4 boyfriends and 5 uncles you seen growing up. Okay? Your moms was a hoe, the spanish chick your praising was a hoe in another town before she got with you and your baby moms got at least 4 abortions under her belt that you don’t know about so cut it out and stop judging. Hating black women and dating outside of your race doesn’t mean you won and it damn sure doesn’t make ya mama less of a hoe. Heal my brother.. let that hurt go.
7. Screen Shots.. that’s a dirty game yawl played in 2013. This shit should be ILLEGAL!
8. Jeggings. For the love of hip hop please find you some jeans that fit lady! Anything with 2% Lycra will do.
9. Dissing side bitches. Grow up.
10. Bey.. …. Aye! who turned off the lights?!???! where’s those gun shots coming from?
11. Ass injections. It makes me sad to see women walking around looking like they have a shitty pamper on. It really does. 67 lbs of fake ass resting on those two lil legs. Be thankful for what God gave you. Makes no sense that you take your clothes off and your entire body drops down and gets its eagle on but that hard ass won’t move an inch not even if a tractor trailor hit it. Work out and be great!
12. Beard Gangs… fellas… stop it… you got a beard, great, you gotta roll around in cliques and wreak havoc on nekkit face ni**as all day?
13. Darkskin vs. Lightskin bullshit. That’s real ugly. Terrible even. And Sad.
14. Lying on Social Media to please the masses. You do know that there is SOMEBODY on social media that knows you for real right? Don’t be the next contestant on that summer jam screen.
15. Jealousy. We all got the same 24 hours in the day baby… Do better with your time and stop hating and subbin’ others.
16. Reality TV. We gotta get this shit off the air. The world has gone mad with this reality TV bullshit. Bitches think they can ice grill you in restaurants and throw a glass at you for real without getting the entire shit beat out of them.
17. Rappin Dukes. Don’t aspire to be a rapper in 2014 okay? There has GOT to be something better to do than putting out these wack ass mixtapes on Dat Piff… UPS is always hiring.
18. Red Bottoms… Black women with a few dollars. There are other shoe designers out you do know this right?
19. Self Hatred… all the women posting nudes on social media, mutilating your bodies to get attention from these men that don’t really give a damn. I hope you find love. I do. Your scaring the children with all this make up and what not.
20. Fake Bosses… if you’re not the one puttin the bread up or making the executive decisions then you are not a boss and its okay. Go punch in and thank GOD you have a job.
In 2014 be realer than you EVER been with yourself… you’ll get much further being real than you EVER WILL being fake! I promise you!
Deputy Editor of Don Diva Magazine/Author