Why Your Next Man Should be Better than your Ex Man.
Okay lets be real. The reason why he is your ex is because he obviously did some bullshit for you to finally dump him. It didn’t take that one time for you to let him go. You sat around, like most bitches do and you let this man, that you love, do you wrong time and time again. Your friends are sick of you already. Every time they turn around, you’re crying, on the phone beefing, talking about how he did some more bullshit to you. And your friends, no matter how many times you complain, they lend an ear, they cook you a dinner, they pop open their best wine, lend you a shoulder and a sofa for you to lay on because you don’t want to go home to be alone with your thoughts. But after a while it gets tired. Your home girl is now thinking that your fighting with this ni**a on purpose just so you can come over and drink up all her wine. She’s had enough of you lying on her couch listening to slow jams, and after much encouraging and thought, you decide to leave this man alone. You stayed with him because aside from the fact that you obviously loved him, you really thought this cat was all that! I mean ain’t no ni**a like the one you got! He was the bomb to you and he knows he’s the shit to you. He knows that he is that ni**a, in your eyes, but it’s over. So how do you move on? What do you do?
After a few wack ass dates, some soul searching and a few bad fucks, you are tired of trying to find a man that has all the great qualities you loved about that busta that broke your heart. So you wind up coming across a real nice guy, he’s half decent and you say “why not, let me give it a try.” I mean after all, your ex has not reached out to you, you broke up with him and by his actions, he clearly could give a fuck, life goes on.
Until that day you’re out having dinner with this new dude and your swagged out, handsome, fly ass ex comes rolling through. He sees you with dude and gives you the “Tsk, tsk, tsk you know you’re playing yourself by fucking with this lame” face. You instantly feel like shit. No matter how good this new guy is, from the outside looking in, he’s not a good look, he’s not your style really, so what do you do? You wind up dumping the new guy, because your ex has you feeling all kinds of crazy. And in the meantime while you are on that mission to find a better dude, you wind up fucking with your ex again. No bueno!
This is why it is important to take your time in between relationships. When your ex still has your heart and has any kind of influence over you, you will be hard pressed to find a man that you think is better than him by your standards. It’s almost as if a bitch gotta go into hiding, hibernation and transform before she can move on and come out strong enough to run into her ex, and not care what he has to think about the new ni**a! And when you are focused and strong enough to choose a man that YOU like, not a man that you think your ex would approve of, that is when you will start winning. You gotta take that time out to get your mind right ladies!
And so you keep getting taunted by your ex because you got him all in your business, he knows your single, looking and praying to unlove his ass. Your dumb ass actually believes that the two of you can be friends, and that he has your best interest at heart, so you tell him about all the lames you’re dating and he’s shooting them all down. He has mind control over you and 9 times out of ten he has dick control over you as well. Until you meet a ni**a just like him, if not better, without the manipulative bullshit and angles. A dude that will fuck the taste of your ex right on out of your mouth! And so now your ex isn’t hearing from you as much, he’s wondering where his puppet on a string is… until he runs into you with a new dude.
But real recognize real so when your ex sees you with this new dude, that’s shining brighter than him, got you smiling how he use to make you smile in the beginning he won’t say much, game over, he knows he officially lost you. But what he will do is catch an attitude with you and try to make you feel guilty for moving on. And if he’s a Steebie J. ass ni**a he’ll harass you the entire time your with that man and try to bring you drama. You gotta be strong sista, ignore him and if you don’t have any kids with him, cut his ass off completely. He means you no good. You got somebody new.
So I say all this to say, that your Next Man HAS TO BE better than your Ex Man in every way possible, because if he is not, you are going to find yourself running back to this fool every chance you get because you’re going to feel as if he is the best fucking thing since sliced bread, when in actuality this ni**a aint shit. But you won’t know that til’ you get someone better. It’s like looking for a new job. Why get a new job that gives you the same benefits or less? Always aim for more in all areas of your life. Anything less is uncivilized.
Deputy Editor of Don Diva Magazine/Author